2개월 아기 원더웍스가 오다? 그리고 출산후 첫생리 시작 (Two-months baby WonderWorks is coming? And the first menstruation begins)

2개월 아기 원더웍스가 오다? 그리고 출산후 첫생리 시작

100일의 기적이 있다듯이 50일의 기적도 있다던데..
도대체 기적은 언제 오는거지?
오히려 나에게 기절을 선물해주었다..
50일에도 이런데 100일에도 편해지는게 아니라 더 힘들어 질 것 같아서 두렵다.
육아를 하다보면 정말 하루하루가 다르다.
하루는 정말 밥먹고 기저귀만 잘 갈아주면 하루종일 꿀잠 자는가 하면 하루는 울기시작하면 밥을 줘도 찡찡 거리고 기저귀을 갈아줘도 안아줘도 잠시만 눈앞에서 사라지면 정말 발악을 하면서 운다. 하필 어제가 그런날이였다.
어제는 출산을 하고 첫생리를 했는데 생리통의 고통이 다시 찾아왔다.어제는 너무 아파서 타이레놀 4개까지 먹어야 고통이 사라졌었다.타이레놀을 많이 먹다보니 그만큼 너무 졸음이 쏟아졌고 그렇게 졸린 상태로 계속 아기를 봐야하니 정말 죽을맛이였다. 그리고 나는 출산전에도 생리를 하면 호르몬 변화때문에 생리전 증후군이 심해서 생리전에 유독 극 예민해졌었고 모든것에 화를내고 주변 사람들을 힘들게 했었다.그런데 이젠 아기가 있으니까 내가 그렇게 호르몬변화대로 하고싶은대로 극단적으로 행동할 수 없었고 그냥 속으로 꾹 참고 이겨내니까 밖으로 표출할 수 없어서 더 힘들었던것 같다.내가 그렇게 힘들때 하필 아기에게도 원더웍스가 온 것 같았다. 타이밍이 정말..
너무 힘들어서 그냥 누워서 쉬고싶은데 애기는 눈만 떼면 우니까 그냥 애기를 안고 나도 같이 울어버렸다.
엄마들은 아기가 초저녁에 자고나면 육퇴라고 부른다.
아기가 통잠을 자면 10시간도 잔다고 한다.
그래서 그 시간을 육아를 마치고 퇴근했다고 하는것 같다.
그렇게 초저녁쯤 아기 씻기고 밥먹이고 퇴근을 하고 나서는 엄마들도 쉬는시간을 가진다.
그런데 우리아기는 왜 밤까지 잠을 안자고 나를 괴롭히는 걸까..분명 원덕웍스 라는건 지나가는 것일텐데 나는 이 힘든상황이 지나갈거라는 생각을 잘 못하겠고 이 힘듦이 평생 갈거라고 생각을 하니까 더 힘든것 같다.
그렇게 힘든 상황 때 일수록 부정적인 생각을 하지 않으려고 노력해야 하는데 그게 생각 처럼 잘 되지 않는다.
병원가서 감정조절해주고 호르몬 조절해주는 약이라도 타 먹어야 겠다.
빨리 우리 아가도 통잠자는 기적을 보여줬으면 좋겠다...
넌 언제 통잠 잘거니?
아기 재워놓고 간단하게 맥주한캔 마시고 영화도 보면서 내 쉬는시간을 즐길 수 있길 간절히 바란다.
내 자유시간이 생기면 일단 내가 임신하기 전에 가장 좋아했던 코인노래방가서 하루종일 노래부르고 싶다.
그리고 맛있는 디저트카페도 가서 여유롭게 앉아있고 싶고
그냥 그렇게 하고 싶다.
솔직히 몸도 지치고 마음도 지치고 너무 힘들때는 혼자 자유로웠을때가 그립기도 하다.

 

Two-months baby WonderWorks is coming? And the first menstruation beginshave a miracle of 100 daysI heard there's a miracle of 50 days.
When on earth is the miracle coming?
Rather, he gave me pass out as a gift.
I am afraid that it will be more difficult, not more comfortable on the 50th or 100th day.
Childhood is really different from day to day.
One day, if you really eat and change your diapers well, do you sleep well all day long? One day, when you start crying, you whine and hug me even if I change my diapers"When I disappear from my sight for a while, I cry out with my feet out of my mouth. It happened yesterday.
Yesterday I had my first period of menstruation after giving birth, but the pain of menstrual pain came back.Yesterday, I was so sick that I had to eat up to four Tylenol to get rid of the pain.Having eaten a lot of Tylenol, I was so sleepy that I had to keep watching the baby in such a sleepy state that it was really killing me. And even before I gave birth, I was extremely sensitive before menstruation because of hormonal changes, and I was angry at everything and had a hard time with people around me.But now that I have a baby, I couldn't act in extreme ways that I wanted to follow the hormonal changes and I just endured it and overcame it, so it was harder to express it outside.When I was having such a hard time, I felt like WonderWorks came to my baby. The timing was so...
It was so hard that I just wanted to lie down and rest, but the baby cried whenever I took my eyes off her, so I hugged the baby and cried with her.
Mothers call the baby a yuk-juk-juk when he sleeps early in the evening.
It is said that a baby sleeps for 10 hours.
So, I think that time is said that I finished raising children and left work.
So in the early evening, after washing the baby and eating, the mothers also take a break.
But why does my baby bother me without sleeping until night?WondeokWorks is definitely a passing thing, but I can't really think that this difficult situation will pass and I think it's even harder because I think it'll last forever.
The more difficult the situation is, the less negative you should try to think about it, but it doesn't work as well as you think.
I should go to the hospital and take some hormone control medicine.
I hope my baby can show us a sleeping miracle soon...
When are you going to sleep soundly?
I really hope I can put the baby to sleep, drink a can of beer, watch a movie, and enjoy my break.
When I have free time, I want to sing all day at my favorite coin karaoke room before I get pregnant.
And I want to go to a delicious dessert cafe and sit comfortably.
I just want to do that.
To be honest, I miss being free on my own when I am tired and exhausted.